Pilkerton's Prognostications

This blog contains some of my past articles for the school newspaper and other musings I feel like posting. Beware liberals!

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Madeleine in the Lion's Den


Last week the Southern Connecticut State University campus was graced by the presence of Madeleine Albright, our former Secretary of State. I wrote about the ridiculousness of her tenure last week so there is no real point in rehashing my own words, but last week's article was written before I saw Mrs. Albright speak at the Lyman Center..
I scored a press pass from Kevin Miner, local publicity magnet, and editor of the Southern News. After pretending to be a real journalist and flashing my press credentials a la Hunter Thompson I settled in to my seat. I was right in the middle of the Lion's den. Surrounded by the media, all left-wing Democrat sympathizers, I was not safe. This place was swimming with Connecticut liberals, all drooling at the prospect of seeing their beloved Secretary of State. All wishing they could relive the old days where Clinton was King and the system bled green with the bastard child of welfare suckling on the wallets of us all. Indeed, good friends, I was a pilgrim in an unholy land. The white-knuckled elitists from the New Haven area all clutching their precious signed copies of Albright's Diaries was enough to drive away even the most staunch good ol' boy. Not me, friends, I was resolute and I faced this overt discrimination, all for the good of journalism, for the sake of my fans and compatriots.
When Madam Secretary stepped on stage the house went wild. The Leftists in attendance went crazy at the sight of this impish little woman. After receiving her requisite honorary doctorate she addressed the crowd, assuring everyone that it was her honor to be at 'Central Connecticut University.'
Albright then launched in to her fast food lecture where she preached the ills of the current administration and urged us all to be the philanthropist nation that the Clinton administration envisioned. Albright enlightened the crowd to the humanitarian situations in the world, specifically focusing on Africa.
Now perhaps it is just me, but I seem to recall President Bush earmarking a substantial sum of money for the fight against AIDS in Africa. It also occurs to me that whether or not that money is spent wisely is the responsibility of the leaders in Africa. I do not want to hear a whiny Democrat telling me that I need to be concerned with people in Africa being irresponsible when my country has given them the money to save their own lives and they ignore it. I tell our distinguished speaker to back off and pick a different battle because she is not going to win over the heart of most intelligent Americans, especially this one.
Through the duration of the lecture Mrs. Albright made it very clear to the audience that the world must be saved with money and hugs and then everything will be just. This gushing, heartwarming nonsense was occasionally interrupted by jabs at the Bush administration, which were received well by the giddy crowd. After the half hour lecture the Secretary proceeded to take questions from the audience, wet with excitement that they could toss up softball queries for Albright to answer. The question that irked me the most was when one obviously unbiased attendee asked Mrs. Albright what she thought of the President's nomination for Ambassador to the United Nations, John Bolton. Albright proceeded to knock Bolton and Bush for next fifteen minutes.
Albright enlightened us with a little anecdote about how she met Bolton and didn?t like him and then told us about how important and institution the United Nations is in the world.
Perhaps some people are not as up to date on international relations as they should be, but the United Nations is an obsolete institution based on the ideals of a smaller global society of sixty years ago. This is an institution where France has a seat at the table, a nation that has literally done nothing except get the living shit kicked out of it for the last hundred plus years. Keep in mind that this is an organization that allows countries like Syria, Iran, and North Korea to sit on Humanitarian Rights committees. This institution and its power structure were corrupt and took money from Saddam Hussein to keep quiet about his screwing of the Oil for Food program.
Do not listen to Albright when she whines and cries about Bolton?s tough stance on the legitimacy of the UN.
Bolton is the right man for the job because he is a beacon of truth in an otherwise corrupted institution that does not fear telling people what he thinks.
Albright and her cronies on Capitol Hill are so obsessed with downplaying America's place in the world that they shake when someone comes along who actually admits that the United States is the world and the world is nothing without us.
Excuse my rant, but Albright actually had me furious with her anti-Republican nonsense.
I realize that the crowd was with her and she was just playing them, but it was scary to see these people all in a room at once. I encounter these left wing freaks on a daily basis, but not hordes of them congregated around one central freak. Albright answered a few other hard-line questions about things like the state of Central American countries (yawn) and the Patriot Act. These tough questions were really thought provoking but the crafty Secretary answered with ease. It is all the Bush Administration?s fault, of course. She even hit the crowd with a zinger saying that the 'Patriot Act isn't very patriotic at all.'
That got quite a chuckle out of these assholes, even prompting a couple behind me to swoon 'she's soooo smart.'
Yes, indeed, this event went as expected, ass kissing from all angles, softball questions and veiled jabs at the Bush administration and the Republican party. The Distinguished lecture series has given us another gem. Allowing the student body and ravenous alums of SCSU the opportunity to hear the slanted nonsense of the left. Let us all thank the powers that be for giving us the opportunity to see an insignificant woman who was in power during an insignificant time in this country's history. Godspeed.


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